Today I had the day mostly to myself. I honestly don't understand my family sometimes. My dad came down but looked really tired. Conversations are still a little hard sometimes because I don't know how to really relate. My brother was in Missoula all day but didn't really bother to call me. We could have hiked the M together but I went alone. My mom was also in town but due to reasons beyond my understanding there wasn't a phone call at all.
So my dad left for home after breakfast. I really appreciated his being here. He took me out to a dinner and breakfast.
I spent the day by myself. I don't really get why Missoula is so cold right now. Missoula used to be so warm and friendly but since my return it doesn't seem the same.
I want to go back home and stay there. We all know what home I am talking about.
Today I went up the Mountain. It was my way of trying to forget but it didn't work. I was happy up there able to look down and not feel anything except for the pain in my back and the mountain air.
This weekend marks the first one that I am truly free with out restraints or anything that I had to do.
I am learning to live on my own again. I cooked for the first time in my apartment. I have bought groceries a few times. i am slowly getting used to living on my own.
So I am thinking so much these days. In light of everything that has happened this week I am wanting to get a new perspective about life and figure out what I really want to do. I am set on opening up new doors.
I don't want us to feel bad about anything anymore. I see Clear horizons in the future.
I am going to push myself beyond exertion and try to also get my mind body and spirit revamped for the undertakings that we need to do. I look forward to seeing you
Im coming home soon
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