Life's Fragility

Life is so hard at times. I can't believe everything that has happened in the last two weeks.

I got off a plane from Korea. I was scared, nervous, and very depressed cause I didn't want to leave my love of my life in Korea alone in a horrible job. I felt awful for going away just because I wanted to try to find something better. I will go back someday I hope and know.


I had to find an apartment in 3 days due to the start of school. I wanted to find a good place to live. The place would be cheap so I could save some money for my future wife. I didn't want to just go back to life like nothing happened. I ran away and for that I will be partly coward.

I have finished two weeks of classes. I am excited for 104 weeks even less than that!

i am excited for 12/25.


Today I had an emotional roller coaster experience with an old friends ex girlfriend. A friend of mine who I lived with is no longer here. He passed away and I never got to say goodbye or how much I liked him.


My family is busy with their work and their lives and here I am writing a story wishing for the next adventure to begin.

I am hoping that I can make things work out well. I want to live in a nice place with my girlfriend and enjoy what life has to offer. I think Japan would be nice. I also think that it would be nice to live in Seattle or somewhere in California. I just want to make LIFE more Fun and not what it seems to be---difficult and hard to handle.


Here I am I am strong minded, strong willed, and will do whatever I can to make things work. I regret drinking tonight because it upset my darling. I shouldn't use alcohol as an escape. I can't believe whats happening here but its not an excuse. Maybe I am fine in a sea of chaotic wonder but I can prevail.


I wonder what my teammate was going through. He left out a big massive part of his life ignoring his ex roommate, ex teammate and a close comradeship that is not found in most cases.


So now I am left thinking how much I want my babe to be happy and the most happiest woman on earth and will do whatever it takes to make that possible.