Tuesday, September 30, 2008

September's End

Tomorrow morning I will go to school and witness the start of October. This is important for me because I always want to start afresh each month.

I know that being in Korea it represents a time to make a syllabus which for me meant realizing just how far I should project for my classes. I didn't care much about making them simply because the kids didn't understand the purpose of them.

I finished the first month back in school and I think I need to move on asap. School is not for me. HONEY I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH YOU HERE OR ANYWHERE SOON? If you go to school and I work I like this too. If you want to go back to school let me know its an idea. I work you go to Busan University again^^



Korea is a wonderland for sure. Its a place to explore, see dreams and learn about yourself. Unfortunately at Yale its also been a heartache. Mr. J doesn't know how to handle his workers. I walked away because I needed to prepare for a bigger step in my life and say goodbye to my family. I hope it has been good timing. I worried about that.

I hope to do more than I am doing now in October. I have to plan more accordingly in October. I want to find decent job and try to make everything work out.

I leave September wanting to make a promise. Leaves are falling, and while the weather is pretty hot during the day its going to be cold soon in a few weeks at most I believe. I want everything to be wonderful and I don't want to make things not work.

I will come back for you I promise. I am going to make good plan in the weeks to come. I dream of a perfect situation where you and I are together under the same roof. We will have a wonderful time together, and I don't want you to fight Mr. J. he is a Loser and a bad person/boss. I have no respect for him whatsoever. Honey whatever I can do to make everything wonderful I will do it. I can't wait until October.


I will write again soon but I need to clean a little for a busy day tomorrow.

Love Always
I am better cause I have the greatest Love in the world. I know this is fact.
I will fight more for you

Wonderland in Korea

I am Christina and live in Wonderland in Korea. There are only 3 teachers in my Academy and there's no extra teacher so if we are sick, there's no way to recover each teacher's classes. Our strange and strict boss, MR.J, will teach all classes instead of us, but the kids don't want to hear his class. That's problem.

Nowadays my classes are 6 from first grade to middle school students. Some of them really want to learn English and the others just come and sit without showing any efforts. Cause they were listed because of their parents.


Many of Korean mothers care about their kids' education so much. They want their children to go best academies and study harder than any others. So they carry their children here and there every month or once two months.

When I was young, I didn't experience teaching academy much. Besides, there were not many academies for us. My hometown was too small to get these kinds of academies. Instead of studying, after school, I played on the ground, climbed mountains, chased friends and did homework at home.

It's not common to meet foreigners in Gumi. Especially White people. Last week, an American named "Jeff" came this academy and he decided to quit here this week. It's pretty sure he noticed this place is like wonderland. And also the work condition isn't good for him at all, and there's no good place to rest or eat food.

I worked so hard today and almost finished half of my work. There's no good day here. Some happenings occur everyday, especially worse things. I don't know how and why. Work is huge, so it's hard to finish it on time. It's impossible. I have worked there for 4 years, but I can't still finish all work without overworking.

I work at Wonderland for Weird Mr. J. I don't know when I run away from his territory. And I hope I have good time everyday without surprising news.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Dawns Early Light

Today I got up at 6 am. It was nice. I like to get up early if I can. I am waiting to make my way to a breakfast at 9. I am going to meet my friend who I have known for 18 years...its Ironic because I thought he would be here 3 days ago but apparently he will be here today.

I have always been interested in history. I can't wait to see Masks of the world I would like to see more of the world and learn more history.



I have come to the conclusion that I can't stay in one place for very long (without you) Sometimes our stories have a way of affecting us. We go to bed feeling crummy and unsure of what to feel. I have been in Missoula for 40 days already its unbelievable actually. Time is going by so fast. This week I will have a roommate.

The negative is that I will have to get used to living with someone again. I don't want to live with anyone other than you. Can we live together when I go back please? promise?


I PROMISE to go to Andong with you whenever you want! I will go to tour the edge of the world with you. You are the only person I can truly go on a wild adventure with. There is no one here I can really relate to anymore.


Today (Monday) I will go to my one class, before that I will meet my friend for breakfast, go to a resume appointment and then get your i-pod^^

I think I will send it to you later this week hopefully.

Honey I am preparing a lot for everything. I will tell you this right now... I will go back to Korea in December because as you know I just want to be with you. There is so much that I want to do when I get back. I say this to you because as you already know I just want to make things work out well for us.

No matter what happens realize just how much you are loved:)

I can't wait to read your stories, emails, give you a kiss and just talk to you. Because of you I can. Thank you for talking to me today I just wanted to hear your voice

I want to share waking up at Dawn with you soon

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Mask Festivals

I got up at 7:20 a.m. The weather was cloudy and cold. I enjoyed walking for 5 mins and then arrived at Bus Terminal. We got on the limousine for 28 people. haha. That bus was so comfortable and we could feel relax. During bus ride, Viki and I chatted a lot from work to private. Sometimes we enjoyed the scenery through the bus window and sometimes just focused on talking.

After an hour and twenty mins, we arrived at Andong. There were several big ad-balloons in the sky and ultralight airplanes flew here and there. And also there were lots of temporary traditional restaurants and stores from food to clothes. I saw turkish ice cream, various tent food, mushrooms, Russian and other countries accessaries and surprising MASKS.

They were amazing. We went to Mask musium in the stadium and looked around Indonesia, African, China, Japan, Austrailia, Oceania and Korea booths. At first, Indonesia masks looked like a person with sharp jaw and sloe-eyed. Most of the masks were painted with gold fur and black paint.

The most weird and exciting masks were from Africa. Their masks were too long or too thin to wear or cover. The longest mask was eating a lizard. I've never seen like that kind of mask before. All masks from Africa weren't colorful but simple and had unique patterns.

Japanese masks were less than Africa. So I was surprised. I thought that Japan is neighbor country and it's easy to dispaly than Africa. These masks was covered with white paint, especially women masks like we could see on Play. Chinese masks were too colorful and they looked like devils. I didn't like them at all.

Oceania, especially Papua New Guinea, was almost as same as Africa. They didn't use color much and the masks were too wide and big, or too small and narrow. Viki and I took pictures next to big mask and read the information.

Oh my favorties. We finally came to Korea booth. There were lots of traditional masks including the masks we saw last year at HaHoe Village. My country's masks were simple and less colorful then China and Japan, but they were more realistic and looked like people. America masks looked scared and I'm pretty sure they would have made because of protecting bad things in the past.

Although we had to pay admission fee, I thought it was worth looking around it. After looking at the museum, we went to eat lunch. There were lots of restaurants, but we couldn't find good one. We ate steamed spicy chicken and it was so so. That's all. We also saw the Mask perfomance. It was so so, too. If I have chance to see this, I won't see it. I'm sure.

We had to walk for a long time, and the lunch wasn't good, We saw lots of interesting things and took lots of pictures. I will go to photo shop soon. If you look at these pictures, you would like them a lot. Next time, Let's go there together. ok? Promise me.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Temporal Flux

Its the weekend and I revisited ancient history.

I am caught in two distinctive time zones. One is the past and the other is the future. One is America and one is Korea. Day and Night Yin and Yang

Today I saw my old high school cross country running coach and went to a high school meet just to say hello to the old runners I used to run against. I hadn't been to a meet in at least 4 years. I don't want to watch high school kids run but I wanted to see what I missed the running community that made me part of who I am. Without running I wouldn't have become the person I am today. I went for a hike afterwards to stare off into the horizon and hope to catch a glimmer of what I was missing miles away. I looked to the west which is going to the East. My home away from home ...My girls heart...The only place I want to stay in.


This hike made me feel a little better because I realized that everything is attainable and that nothing good is never truly gone. I am writing a lot now about my personal thoughts both here and my future book I hope to write.

EVERYTHING CAN BE DONE and we just have to try harder and believe in ourselves. I don't plan on ruining anything or losing anything. I will always Try and never revert to old habits. I REALLY HOPE YOU LOVE MY STORIES I THOUGHT SO MUCH OF THESE THINGS TODAY


As I saw my old past lingering in the running battlefield where I used to run I desired to climb mountains and surpass heights through running and also by making the unbelievable and unimaginable happen. I am set on making a stronger future for me, Christina, the world and making sure our Family and everything we care about are tended for and in good hands for all time.


Starry Skies and quiet evenings walking with you is so desirable and uplifting. I want this to happen and whatever happens in the future with work, school, Korea or America I want this to occur. Our life transverses all happiness.

Christina-Nick LOVE and HAPPINESS FOREVER

I hope you loved this as much as I think of you and love you and I hope you had fun in Andong. Study hard and let your dreams live.

I always understand you

Starry Night

Starry Night I walk on the street with you.
I am a little excited because of blowing happy winds.
Looking at you, my mind wispers me.
I love you, I will love you forever.
I don't know your back is warm like this.
I like Your hug which gives me strength when I have hard time.


If you are here beside me, Whole the world looks pretty.
I believe you will cherish me more than someone.
I will promise I won't change my mind until that starry night fades its shining light.


My love who falls off sometimes and is with me when I have hard time.
I really hope you to be a person who shines your good features forever.
You are the only one who can make me happy.



Honey, I translated from Korean song to English lyrics for you. Do you like this? Whenever I listen to music, I think of you and our love. Now, I can't the starry night because of the weather, I believe we both have shining stars in our mind. They include our hopes, futures, plans, loves, and even our bad habits.


The weather is getting cold. So I need to prepare my gloves and scarf. Typing the letters I have to rub my hands sometimes. From yesterday I used my electric mat. It was so warm and made me sleep well. I am pretty sure it will make me not to catch a cold in fall and winter.


Viki and I will go to Mask Festival in Andong tomorrow. Last year We went there together. The weather was cold and we had to shiver a little bit. You wore checker shirt that I gave you as your birthday present. I miss at that time. I don't know if I go to Hahoe village and follow the same route. In my memory, the food wasn't good.


I will take lots of picutres for you and send you a lot. Then you can feel like you were there although you don't go there. I can't wait to go there and see various masks from Korean and other countries.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Divine Intervention

What is Fortune?
Fortune is everything enshrouded amongst us. Its what makes us what we are.

I don't need any of the riches in the world for I have found you. I know that God had sent me to Korea to find you. There was a hallow of Love manifolded around you. Honey I know that my fortunate my ultimate fate was to be with you. Sparks flew from the moment I set eyes on you. I looked at you with a reverence and respect that I found right away to be alluring. You are pure, genuine and the most sincere person I have ever met.


I have thought about many things lately. Mostly you and how much I love you. I don't want you to worry about anything except for just following your heart. I am behind you all the way. I think the world of you.


I thought once when I was a kid that my wife's name would be Kim. She would have black hair. I also thought or knew I would go to Korea someday. I had an imagination as a kid where now I am trying to get that back. I have a wide array of thoughts but its hard for me to do anything I have thought of so far.


You are so important and vital to me in my life honey. By far you are the most important part of my life and my motivation for everything I have envisioned thus far.

The i-pod I bought is from the Apple store (I-tunes) and you are definitely the Apply of my eye. Trying to study hard all the time babe I am so happy for our love will blossom and go further than all else. My love for you is the realest thing I have ever felt before. Our Love is Why I can Try hard.


I stand by you all the time. I Love your stories and want to compile our Experience and book someday. I hope you have a good day Honey. I am happy you don't have to work Saturday right?Love you lots All the time.


By the hands of God I continue to trundle on down the beaten up path. Honey breathe easy, find your taste, Keep your Passion because you are very Passionate, Lovely, very classy and you have found the true path with everything you do because YOU have walked straight into my beating heart. Your Love pulsates through me.

What is fortune?

I think that Life is sequence of meeting others. Everyday we meet someone on the buss, trains, subways and other transportations. We can even meet on the streets or at the restaurants. Today I met at least 100 people here and there.

There is a saying related to meeting someone. "Although someone's collar of the shirt or coat goes past by me, it's fortune." Especially Buddhism says, someone goes past by others cause he or she already had met them over 3000 times in the past.

After lunch, I talked about fortune with Viki and she told me our meeting is not usual and it was providence of GOD. I thought like that. Cause if you didn't choose Korea, Gumi and this academy, we even couldn't see each other at all. And also if you liked going out with foreign friends, we would meet only at work not have private meeting outside.

Moreover, you loved learning other cultures and oriental things. You already had lots of Japanese friends and Korean friends. It helped us fall in love each other a lot. You understood me all the time and took care of me like a baby. It made me feel comfortable like cozy home. In fact, Being with you made me so happy and enjoy my life than before.

If you didn't live upstairs, I couldn't see you every morning before work. Since you lived near downtown, I had cooked good food for us and then we could go downtown and watched movies sometimes. It was possible to climb Gum-Oh mountain several times a year, too.

I really thank for all of things that we had, shared, and enjoyed here with you. Soon I want to get more new memories with you. We have good plans and I believe this is possible.

I am thinking how many times had we met in the past? or were we a rival each other so we fell in love with each other? Lots of thinkings still remain in my mind. If I think about this at night, I couldn't sleep at all.

Honey, as you told me, you are training military service there and I am waiting for you here. So sometimes I worry about you a lot, and sometimes I am so happy to hear your voice and good news from you. We are perfect for each other and like a mirror. We can feel partner's hardship, lonesome, and sadness every well without saying. Cause we are tied by Fortune.

Night Trip

I went to bed at 1 last night I didn't feel tired at all. I had to get up at 7 to get ready for classes and get my cousin out the door so he could get to Vegas. I hope he is planned well. I don't think so personally. He is carrying $1000 in cash in his hand wallet. wow uh?


I am currently writing as I watch them sleep for another few minutes. I wish I could have talked to you longer. I think I have to go to all classes today because my homework is due. I have to think more seriously here.

Today I will relax again and try to get some hw done too. I will write a lot more in my books. One is about Korea and the other is about us. One if for School and the other is for us to read later. I want to be an ESL Teacher, Write a book so I can be published, be a father and be the World's best husband to you. What do you want to be?


I hope you can teach English to Korean students in America. I know that it is possible. WE just have to look for it sometime.

I am going to go east breakfast at 11:30 your time. I am hungry and I think I need to go earlier. Tell me about work ok. Love you Sweetie.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Rising Priorities

Today was just another day in passing. It was a quiet Tuesday. I ended up going to all of my classes today. I felt compelled to go since I had no good excuse to skip. The class was actually better than before. I wish this grad student would teach more often he is pretty good.


I froze my hands today in the morning so now I have a new bear of gloves. The gloves were so cheap! I only spent a dollar on them. Its my utmost goal to get more money. I want to venture across the globe with my darling so much.


Today I went to the Food For Thought two times. I ate food that I had already paid for. I think I will just keep going there until I need to pay again somewhere. Its almost October I am so surprised at how fast time is going. I hope that I can get out and take some pictures soon. I want to send Christina some wonderful pictures.



I am pretty much moved into my apartment it needs to be fixed up a little still but its getting a lived in feeling. I have been here for exactly one month and I have paid for everything up to this point. I think my roommate will come in a week so that means that I will be able to relax a lot more when it comes to actual cooking, paying bills, and financing for cost of living etc. I am going to save a lot of money soon!

I hope my job prospects open up.

Right now I want to get a paper done I hope I can get some headway going on it soon I have been short of ideas the last few days. I think this weekend may show some promise. Time is going by way to fast here.


Classes are going well. I am always thinking and I thought of a few options. There are many Korean schools here where the purpose is to teach English. I would like to research this option more possibly? I would also like to travel more first and foremost. I am really interested in National Geographic Features and would like to see more of whats really out there.


I hope that tomorrow shows more promise than today. Today I charged my phone, i pod and camera! Its a busy house today. I also got my bank card activated and used it on my computer today!


Tomorrow I will go to my one class.. Eat well and study for my Korean paper. I hope that I can get a good amount of work done. I would like to enjoy this coming weekend.

There is so much more I would like to say I will write an email now.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Listening to the Wind

Honey right now I feel like I could stay up real late. I am not as tired as I normally feel around 10 pm. I am feeling like I could work harder and more.


Today I got another bike. I am renting one for free because my other bike is going to kill me. Its literally death on wheels. I don't feel safe on it anymore. The weather is getting bad and I think I will need to get my house warmer and prepare for the coming of winter. I hope its a good winter.


I paid some bills today. I talked to my future roommate a lot too. Honey things are going to be so much better in October. In October I am planning a lot. I am going to find a future job soon maybe BUSAN.

I want to go back to Korea and live with you. I think living with you there would be heaven on earth and a good thing to do for a year I hope for this each night.
Right now my apartment is getting more and more settled. I am spending only a little of my money right now cause I want to save for us.


I am listening to music and sending you some of the ones I listened to. I used to have this album.

Whenever I write you or talk to you I let my mind just wonder. I always have the greatest happiness when I am thinking of you. Its Euphoria.

You are my inspiration.

Tomorrow I will go to one class. I will study hard too. I am going to try to get a lot of work done and maybe write my story tomorrow too.

If there is anything that you need or want just let me know ok. I hope work doesn't make you feel stressful today. I know right now its Tuesday so that should be a good time but I know having to talk to the Jeongs is an unpleasant time.


Sweetie I can't express my Love for you enough just because I always want you to know you have me. I won't let you down ever, and you don't have to be stuck in a place either. I want to do more for you so we can have something better.

Please know that the Wind whispers to me your Love and that I pass it along as the leaves blow away from their tree that my Love for you will travel on for eternity.


Have a wonderful Sleep honey...Don't think so much just stay happy and wonderful cause I got an everlasting feeling with you. I am so happy that I was fated to have met you Babe you made my life.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Constantly

Every day I am thinking more and more of you and how to build our future. I know that things are not always as easy as they appear to be but I can assure you that I am trying and will only do my best to make things easy. I want you to know that even if I don't write much or am able to do as much as I would normally like to do I am thinking of doing it asap.


I wish I had waited until midnight to have taken my shower so I could have talked to you a little bit today next time...

Today I bought a few things, tried to fix a ruined computer and made some more decisions looking to the future.


Our Future is looking more wonderful each day that I envision babe... I hope you are enjoying yourself and not worried about me...


Its this drive I have for us that keeps me going. I am hoping to make big things happen here. I am going to go back to Korea where we can make our start towards finding something else. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay at YALE its my hope to work harder than now so you will not have to worry about work at all.

I can't wait to read your stories because I think they are better...

I am going to finish dinner and relax awhile. Hope to talk soon


Constantly we've got it and its a wonderful thing

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Homecoming Festivities

Today marks the Homecoming Celebration which is supposed to be to honor the seniors for the coming school year. To me it represented the fact that now I have been home for basically a month. Its going by so fast...

Life is full of Twists and Turns and therefore I am having to overcome sad obstacles while other days feel completely happy. Ride the Highs with the highs and the lows with the lows.

Today some Chinese girl who I have all my classes with cooked me a nice lunch. She and her husband are really nice and I am glad I met them cause I at times feel like I got nothing left here.

Today I watched a parade next time I hope you can be here to see it with me. I am learning honey that if you come to study here I can assure you that you will have no troubles here. I know you would love everything and not have a worry.

The house I was at was very small. It was only one room( kitchen, bedroom, living room was all in one) I wish my house had been that small in Korea the size was overbearing to me cause I was all alone. I never had any thought like that before.

I knew every space in that house. I mapped it when I was bored cause I am a geographer and also cause I needed to find something fun to do there when I was all by myself.


After the parade and lunch I met a friend who is one of my best friends but I haven't talked to him in 2 years. He is doing well. He had a lot of interesting stories and it was nice to hear.

I have a lot of nice and amazing friends but no one I know compares to you. You're my best friend that I have never had and my future better half. You taught me more about myself than all of my friends and family combined I feel.


After hanging out with him I went home. I had a splintering headache and needed to rest. I also felt like I should do some homework cause I would like to spend more time writing. I want to show you a book if I ever could get something done.

I am trying to do a lot but unfortunately I am feeling tired and need to take more breaks so I will have to rest more tonight!


I will get a pin number next week and after I use an ATM I will be able to buy online! I can't wait.

So right now I will clean my house and hopefully prepare for my new roommate which I need soon cause I would like to make this house ship shape and then I can do more. Stay up later and maybe become Superman.


Honey I love your stories. Love is like grapes changing over time. I will share everything and anything with you. You know this. I really feel my love for you is the deepest in the world and I never will change that. I don't want you to be alone and I don't want you to worry or feel awful I will be forever your knight.

I will Love you more and more Study hard, and Cheer Up. I am Fighting and overcoming everything bad or so so thats happening here. I have my Good and Bad Days but through all of it Seriously because of you I know that I am ok and have become a good person.


I remember that all the time I am constantly reminded by your Love. Because of your Love I want to do whatever I can for you and make Everything possible for you. Forever Yours,

Nick

A bunch of Grapes

There are at least 50 pieces in a bunch of grapes. As the grapes grow more and more, they have vivid violet color and the flesh of grapes grows. It smells sweet here and there, so whoever pass the vine trees will swallow their saliva.

It's as same as love in my opinion. When two people fall in love with each other, their love grows more and more and the amount of love is getting huge like a mountain. Love makes people attract their partner, wives, girl friends, boy friends and even companions.

Today eating a bunch of grapes I thought of YOU and our memories filled with special happenings. A piece of grapes was as big as chestnut and the taste was good. It had sweet flavor and the nectar was rich. If you were here, I would give this fruit with sweet fragrant scent you and see your happy face. I'm really sorry I can't share this grapes with you. But soon let's have this. ok?

And also don't be sad anymore. You are my knight wearing golden armor. Knight has strong mind and phisical body. If you have weak mind, bad things would tease you. Smile a lot and think about happy things all the time. When you smile, you look better. ^^

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Model Citizens

We may not have much money, we may not have certifications. We may need to find more time to develop our skills but we do have the best thing in the world...Love.

Our love is in the purest of forms. In my opinion its the most fitting match anyone could ever come across in the Universe. Our limitations are only set by ourselves. As someone once said in history the only thing to fear is fear itself.


Today I walked through Campus late at night reminiscent of what I used to do as an Undergrad who was literally trying to find my way. At that time I would be saying hello to everyone because I knew all the people here. I was a big shot on campus. I felt proud because I was so well known and therefore I could help people. It was nice to feel important during my undergrad years. I recall mostly fond experiences.


Now Campus is a desolate place. I see Freshman who mirrored me and my friends in what seems like a millennium ago. I don't remember throwing Frisbees and living carefree. I don't know what its like to worry about History 101 or some other rudimentary classes. I had no concept of how to deal with life. College was the ultimate thrill and total freedom.

Now I have changed. I am more or less on my own. I know this town and campus quite well but I am a ghost amongst hundreds of strangers in a place that used to be second nature to me...oh the irony.



Its now in the morning and I will be talking to you again soon. As you know I would love to get a call from you 24-7. You are my future so when you need I need. I am resolved to make a better future for us.

Today I started a paper about Korean Culture and Language. I am hoping that it will help me understand Korean language better. I also hope to finish it within a few weeks.

I need to work harder on everything because school is making me tired. I should get all passing grades but I am worried about later more than now. I am going to be real honest and tell you its hard to sleep still just because I feel so bothered about things.


I paid for rent yesterday so that means I can live in this house until November 1st without paying more. I think I am technically done to because my roommate will have to pay for the rest of the year.


I am keeping on keeping on as they say... I know that no matter what happens I will attain this

Qualification

I don't have any certificate of qualification now. Most of people have one or two in their wallet though. When I was young, I wasn't interested in certificating of qualification, but also I didn't care about that at all.

Now I regret not trying and having any certificate in my hand. So I have time to get it, I want to get at leat 3 certificate of qualification. The first thing is related to sewing. I want to get quilt's certificate. Over time, I will have my own baby and want to sew for my baby, loving husband and myself.

The second one is for computer. At least I want to know how to make forms on the computer. If you tell me, then I can type and make a form for you. Whenever you need my help, I am quite willing to do anything for you.

And finally I want to get cook's certificate. As we talked about this, I want to cook healthy food for my family and open my own restaurant. Every morning, I will bake fresh bread with sweet smell and brown color. You can taste my crispy coffee bun with warm tea or blending coffee.

I am learning how to be a good wife for you. Through the internet, I can learn everything what I want and also study TOEFL, too. To speak English fluently is good for me and you. Although you know me very well, we would have a language problem later. It's natural for us to have interval cause we have lived different societies for over 20 years.

Honey, We have the strongest weapon called "LOVE". So there's nothing we can't solve problems in the future. I don't know I have enough qualification though. Let's try to be a better person for each other.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

For You

Each day I always am drifting to you. I realize each day that everything I do is for you. I am hoping my educational pursuit will get me a better job. Today I thought of living on the coast with you. Big city, many different types of people (I guess I could have just said Diversity) and a train^^ I love the train a lot. I am thinking so much of you that if you were able to walk into my mind you would just see Fog and there would only be YOU.


I am writing a book now. I want to start recording my personal feelings about Korea, and what I am also feeling each day. I no longer think of Korea as a Foreign entity awaiting me to be explored but its my second home. I would love to try more of Korea. I am hoping that I can get a better job and find a way to make it work in Korea.


I believe so firmly in my heart that our love will never falter or fail regardless of income, or where we live. Although we are separated right now I still feel a Euphoria of Joy that glows around us. We are the Future babe!I know this so I am no longer depressed.


There is no doubt in my mind that our Love is Endless, I want it to cross all boundaries and I truly believe that WE could go into the Guiness book of Records for the most Perfect match in the World/Universe.


I have seen many relationships estranged or just far from Ideal. I am endeavoring to make us live like royalty.

Because of your love I am able to continue and face difficulties with ease. You are my inspiration for everything I do.

Right now I am trying to determine how to do everything I need to do as well as what I would like to see happen. My love for you is endless and as a result I am trying to open any door I can for us.

Your Love has taken me to a new world and I see no peak. Because of you I am.

Endless love

Nowadays I like listening to music especially at night. Music has a power to make me feel good and comfortable. After work, I feel tired a lot. Cause there's no one who care of me all the time. So If I come home, I turn on my computer and check my emails and then listen to music.

There are my favorte two songs. One is "Endless love" and the other is "I have my love". This is K-pop. They all touch my mind and think of you. As this lyrics, you are my only one. I really want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Everyday I am breathing thinking of you, and working praying to meet you soon. If there's no computer or cell phone, I would not live well here. I can talk to you everyday, every moment if I want to.

Today I had seven classes. The kids and classes were making me exhausted and not to care of them anymore. But there were bells to finish classes. It saves me all the time from the kids. My throat is still sore and it will be worse soon. But the worst thing happend to Viki today. She was teaching in MC3 class, I was in MC1 and Mr.J was in MC2 class. During the class, he went out of the classroom and checked Viki's class. Unfortunately Turtle was sleeping against the wall. Mr.J yelled at him and gave more homework. Viki felt angry and furiated because of MC3 students.

I was too tired but I had you in my mind. It's weak and small, but It supports me a lot to face bad conditions. Whenever I had hard work, I thought of your endless love and YOU.

As you know this, You are my Only Forever love in my life. I don't need anyone without you. Living, saving, earning and breathing are all for you and me. Let's make a better plan with endless love.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Pizza and Nachos

I ate so much food today. Tonight I had my own dinner alone. I had a half of a pizza and at least half a plate of nachos. The nachos were heaped with many toppings. I ate too much because now I am so full.

My birthday was kind of boring and nothing too special to be honest. The best thing was talking to you. I went to my one class, went to Food For Thought and rested. I did some homework trying to get ahead for the next month and I also cleaned up a little. I am so tired and bored too.

Sometimes I don't think anyone likes me here since no one has bothered to really want to hang out and most of my friends are new friends. Guess I made a good impression on people everywhere I go. I thought I had good friends here.


So now I am writing a story and trying to figure out everything I need to right now. I hope to find a job soon. I am going to fill out an application for a restaurant job and then later try to look for more.


I have decided that all I want to do is move to Korea and make a career move. I wish I had more money right now I desperately want to make a better impression but feel so bad that I can't make progress.

Anyways another day over and tomorrow there is exactly 100 days until Christmas. If you don't count tomorrow. I will be there though in less than 90 if things go well. Please help me more...

Refreshment with holidays

I was very busy last week because of overwork. I really wanted to get holidays a lot. I didn't want to work more, but there's no teacher except me and Viki. I was too tired to teach kids and my throat hurt cause I shouted and yelled at kids a lot. I needed to refresh my mind and body.

During three holidays, I spent two days to do cooking, cleaning, visiting relatives. There was no time to study and take a rest. If I tried to find or have time to do something, I could do whatever. But My body didn't move well like I intended. Besides, a slight headache bothered me continuously. My brother was suffering from migraine, too. We went to several drugstores, but they all were closed.

Sleeping and just relaxing at home blew away my headache a little bit. Playing with my nephews, too. If I don't think about sickness at all, it doesn't affect me anymore. So I am trying not to think about this.

After I had late breakfast by myself, my sister came home. My second nephew grow more than before and the older one could speak fluently like Adult. His height is getting higher and speaking ability is getting better. Now he can express his own feeling to me and his parents and sometimes he asks for something he wants to get.

My another nephew, girl in pink pants and shirt, is getting bigger. She looks like a boy baby, not girl baby. Her weight is almost 10 kg. She dislikes and are afraid of strangers a lot. So my mom or father holds her, she cries very loudly and sadly. If I holds her, she just smiles looking at me. Cause I am as same as my sister. haha

Today I played badminton with my sister and her husband. It was hard for me, cause I didn't exercise much after you left here. I thought I need to exercise including climbing, swimming, inline skating and badminton. Whatever I can improve my physical ability a lot. I just played for 10 minutes and perspired a lot. I didn't know my physical condition is bad and weak.

Exercising, perspiring and sitting on the ground feeling breezing were so good. It was refreshment. Until now, If I had holidays, I have stayed home all day long without any exercise or refreshment. It changed my feeling good and happy.

Holidays give me lots of energy which I can work well this week. My real powerful energy source is YOU though. Every week I will hope I can get more holidays from work and free from kids, small academy work. And I will think of YOU more and more.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Eve of 24

Today marks my third Sunday in Missoula. I have completed 3 weeks of school and so far think I am doing well in my classes. I am trying to get situated and just get ahead of all my classes. Today I think I may have been successful to get ahead in my school work.


I have completed 2 homework assignments in one class, gave my only presentation in another and have done all that has been required of me so far in my third and final class.

I now need to find a job soon I hope. Tomorrow I will invest my time into this endeavor.

Its almost another week back in school. I am certain that my work I did will increase this week. I have to buy some more things for around the house and my room which I still haven't moved into. I am waiting until my roommate gets here to set up shop so to speak.


I am saving a lot of money here soon. I bought a lot of food today so I can cook and not have to buy food for a long time. I hope that my Food For Thought budget holds out too.


I am preparing for a new move in my life. I am endeavoring for greater things. I want to truly move out to Seattle and work but for right now I am dead set on getting more money doing whatever it takes to reach a new peak.


Today I had to much time on my hands but unfortunately didn't go for a hike. I collected some cans around my neighborhood and watched a little computer tv, read my book, bought a journal to write a book, finished all of my homework, paid off all my debts which was only 1 but still something I didn't want, and now I am in idleness waiting for the storm tomorrow.

I dream of lapping water next to the shores and not having a care in the world about anything. Life is too short to be miserable, its not something I want for my two halves. Thats why I am committed to doing what I have to do in order to get a good job, and make a wonderful break in our future. I want to go to Busan again^^

Life is hard and no matter what there are certain things that will not change. I want to make everyone's situation better. There are no bounds in Love.


Tomorrow I will set my sights higher than ever before. I will go to many departments and also call on some numbers.


May this week of work bring good fortunes and may answers come more easily. Lets not give up, lose hope, or let anyone drag us down. Life throws us obstacles and we are both strong people we can do this easily. We just have to have belief and try.
The saying is simple
Love conquers all.

I dream of tomorrow....

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Chasing a Yellow Jersey

The term yellow jersey in its hay day referred to Lance Armstrong. Its a term used for bikers. I wear a yellow shirt each day especially for the chill in the morning. I ride my bike to campus and back usually twice a day.

The term is meant for the biker who is in the lead when doing the Tour de France. I am chasing my own dreams now.

Each day I am driving with a purpose in my heart. I am in Missoula now and sometimes I don't wish this but for now this is the end of the road for me. I am hoping to find some miracles brewing in the old campus pursuits but so far to no avail. I ride on latching myself onto dreams that I can open up the door with my golden set of keys.


I ride with a strong devotion that never will be detoured, nor broken. I am intent on just making my baby girl's future. There is nothing else I desire nor care for at the moment.

Riding a bike saves money, Its cost effective and its good for my physique as well. I want to rack in more money so thats why I am now driven towards finding a job. I want to be able to make a decent offering and I hope I can park in my girls heart forever because destiny is knocking...

more later.

Chuseok - Korean Thanksgiving Day

There are two big holidays in Korea. One is Seolnal(New Year) and the other is Chuseok(Thanksgiving Day). We eat Ddeokguk(rice cake soup) on New Year. Especailly we have to eat it like our ages. For example, If I am 10, I have to eat ten bowls of rice cake soup. Haha. Nowadays it's just function and Only some follow this custom though. We make Songpeon which rice cake filled peanut or sugal inside. Mom and I made 500 pieces of this today.

We make several types of fried food. Because Chuseok is in September or October and the weather is still warm. It's one reason to make food go bad easily. If we fry something, we can store it longer than usual. So our ancestor started to fry food. That's why we make fried food a lot. Fried Baechu(You know Baechu of Kimchi), tofu, squid, shrimp, salted fish, meat ball and mush room.

We also make a sweet drink made with fermented rice. If someone visits my house, we treat them to have this drink and rice cake. Mom bought lots of fruits including watermelon, yellow melon, apple, pear, banana, grapes and sometimes strawberry.

Moreover, there are lots of leaves for Bibimbab. Boiled pork, beef, egg, chestnut, jujube, dried octopus and Alaska pollack, fried seaweed, and so on. It's big holiday right?

If I wasn't here, My mom would do this by herself. I can't imagine this though. As you know Korea, If woman marries someone, she has to do this several times in a year. Once a year is ok, but twice isn't good. I can't do this and I don't want to do this at all. It makes me tired a lot. After cooking, I had to take a shower. My clothes were wet because of perspiring.

I am really excited Tomorrow is Chuseok. I will visit my grandparents graves and relatives in my hometown. ^0^ I want to show this to you soon.

Meeting old friend.

One year ago, you and I met Pearl at Yale Academy. I didn't think that we would be good friends with each other and meet often at that time. I was happy to meet her with you at Paradise buffet restaurant on Sunday. I really want to go back at that time.

After you left me, I have had so so day for 2 weeks. And I know you would be same as me. I met her at Starbucks at 10:30. She gained weight a little bit for 2 months. Her face was good and still cute. She was wearing white shirt and brown skirt. We drank a cup of coffee and talked a lot.

Our talking always made me remind our past. How much we enjoyed our life and free time with her, How long we ate lunch at restaurant, How many times we met each other and What kinds of talking we did before. We talked about You, my work, her work, Austrailia, Foreigners, and fluent English skills. Although we talk about this all the time, we can't follow native speakers' skill and it's hard to mimic their pronounce, too. I understood this, but since I have studied English for several years, I can't stop Studying English. Especially because of YOU!!!!!

After Holidays, we will meet again and study together. And also, we will climb a mountain soon. I really wish you were here beside me.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Crawling Wish


I had a long day. I had a day where I had two classes. One class was really boring and the other was hard to follow. I wanted to just go home and relax.


I am praying to just return back to where I was the most happy.


This post is filled with a lot of honesty.


I worry a lot and I am too serious about a lot of things. I am endeavoring to make my new home the best I could possible in order to really make something start off. I wish I could find a job here soon but for now I am thinking I am just going to off to put my nose to the grindstone and study hard.

I will never change why I am motivated the way I am. I haven't liked the state of affairs things seem to be in. I didn't study Reverse Culture shock but the irony is that people don't have a way to deal with ex-patriots when they come back to their country.


I am changed, my family and friends have changed as well and its a scary thing. I am scared now these days because I gave up the thing I held the most dear in order to just visit with my family and friends for awhile. I wanted to go back to school to try to get ahead a little and make a brighter future.
I never meant to destroy anything or make people feel bad. That's why I will step up my efforts to insure a better future soon.

I am trying hard to save a lot of money and thats why I am living as cheaply as possible. I will be busy with last minute projects this week and after this week I will have a little more free time!

So thats my first 3 weeks back in America. Today marks my 21st day. I am still stumbling down the road and trying like mad to look for my way back home and a place I will never leave again... I am so sorry.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sundays Embrace

The warm cool air hugs me and I can feel the coming of Fall. I like this feeling because for me it means busy preparation time for the coming of Winter. Fall will not last long.

Today was a slow day. Its a Universal rest day. I don't think I did as much as I could have. I talked to some friends, got some homework started and basically rested up for a busy week.
I told a friend about my friends passing. I hate having to bear bad news but its better to tell them than for them to find out some other way. I am apart of a cross country family that I love dearly but its changing. People are getting married, and moving on in some way or another. I want to get engaged soon. I hope I can.


So I made some house repairs but now I will have to wait until tomorrow since its too dark to see. Just like my friend Peter I seem to be waiting for time to pass by quicker. Right now Missoula is kind of a slow place.


I want to do well in my homework and hope I can regain my focus that I lost this week due to unforeseeable events.

I am hoping to put everything together this week. I want to become a writer and do some research that seems worthwhile. I don't know if I am doing what is needed to do well in the class but time will tell.

I am going to try to get more involved in the University soon. I have some ideas about improving the current situation but all I want right now is just a determined focus to get back to my happy spot.


I write this with no regard to anything. I want to pour my heart out I want to tell you just how much I love you because its indescribable its apart of me. I think I would die without it. I don't plan on going anywhere without it.

I want to fight all battles over all landscapes all in the name of Love. Today I had some personal problems with family, friends, school work but nothing can end me as I am fixated on a glowing future.

I look forward to tomorrow with a new fury inside and I will crush all demons that creep up. I promise to full fill all of our dreams in every way shape, etc. possible.
There is nothing to worry about or nothing that you should endure badly for my love is a shining light and will protect you from all of your fears. I am 100% certain of this.

Busan Trip

Slight breeze touches my face and hand. I woke up and prepared to go to Busan. I took a train at 9:32 and arrived at 11:50. My brother came there to pick me up. We went to Lotte Department store and had lunch such as Ambrosia. He chose lunch set including beef bulgogi, fish boiled in soy with spices, several types of leaves which can eat and drink for our health, and diverse side dishes. I had Woodong with fried shrimp, crown daisy, sweet potato and boiled fish paste. Both his and mine were so good.

After lunch, we went to Duty free shop and watch counter. There were lots of colorful styles and all of them were so expensive. My brother wanted to buy the Watch with stop watch function, auto movement function and so on. It was almost 3000$. It was too expensive and he didn't need to buy that one at all. Moreover, He isn't the son of the rich and can't spend money like water. Next, we went to sunglass section. He bought me wine colored coach sunglasses. Getting a present from others is making me so happy. ^^

And then we went to seventh floor and bought strong colored shirts, pants and shoes at Who.A.U and DOHC. My brother liked them a lot and he wore those clothes after buying them. I loved my deep pink hood shirt a lot. I can't wait to show this to you.

Before we went to Shoes store, it rained a lot. So we had heavy traffic on the road. I didn't bring my umbrella and my brother didn't have an umbrella, either. So our clothes were wet a little. Anyway, I bought a pretty black wallet for my mom with my coupon and came back to my brother's house. I had short time with his younger friends
at pub, but I didn't want to write about that here.

Sunday morning, my brother and I went to sea food restaurant and it was delicious, too. It was a little spicy though. And also, we went to coffee shop. I reminded you a lot and note a memo for a story.

On the train, I studied vocabulary a lot and slep a little. I really felt sorry to wake you up. I didn't intend it at all. You know how much I care about your health and rest, right? I will more care and won't wake you up while you are sleeping.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Spreading my Wings and Flying Homeward






Today I had the day mostly to myself. I honestly don't understand my family sometimes. My dad came down but looked really tired. Conversations are still a little hard sometimes because I don't know how to really relate. My brother was in Missoula all day but didn't really bother to call me. We could have hiked the M together but I went alone. My mom was also in town but due to reasons beyond my understanding there wasn't a phone call at all.

So my dad left for home after breakfast. I really appreciated his being here. He took me out to a dinner and breakfast.


I spent the day by myself. I don't really get why Missoula is so cold right now. Missoula used to be so warm and friendly but since my return it doesn't seem the same.
I want to go back home and stay there. We all know what home I am talking about.


Today I went up the Mountain. It was my way of trying to forget but it didn't work. I was happy up there able to look down and not feel anything except for the pain in my back and the mountain air.


This weekend marks the first one that I am truly free with out restraints or anything that I had to do.

I am learning to live on my own again. I cooked for the first time in my apartment. I have bought groceries a few times. i am slowly getting used to living on my own.

So I am thinking so much these days. In light of everything that has happened this week I am wanting to get a new perspective about life and figure out what I really want to do. I am set on opening up new doors.

I don't want us to feel bad about anything anymore. I see Clear horizons in the future.


I am going to push myself beyond exertion and try to also get my mind body and spirit revamped for the undertakings that we need to do. I look forward to seeing you

Im coming home soon

Friday, September 5, 2008

Trying to push back the hands of time

Its amazing how slow things can be and then without warning you want Time to stop or go back. I miss all those Rainy days where I didn't do much of anything other than watching tv and just lazing around in all of life's splendor.

I have been really busy since getting back to Missoula. I am trying to work on some personal projects and just get readjusted. I would like to catch up with everyone.


Every time I drove through Polson I had a thought of stopping and dialing up my old roommate Fritz just to see how he was doing. Fritz wasn't a typical roommate. While he did things his own way much like most people I knew, he did confide in me and was dedicated to his God, family, friends and trying to find a way. There are many things I will remember about him. I will never get another chance to tell him anything about how I feel about him though.

I went to say my goodbyes yesterday. I had never been to a funeral especially one that wasn't meant to be. He was a big part of my life.
I was his first roommate. We shared many college laughs, stories, and we also ran together and against each though he always got the better end of me.


He kept me on the straight and narrow. I didn't drink with him. I never cussed, I was a better man because of him. I was healthier. I was happier and I wish I had known so much more than I had known before.


One phone call is all that it would have taken. I was his closest connection in college. I am wishing I had done something about it more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
I went to the funeral with his ex girlfriend and some old track guys. I cried like a baby. I don't ever want to go to another funeral.


Now I am just trying to think and be better cause I want to be better for the love of my life. We got something going well and our love is like Fusion its all around...


May the Gods bless Fritz for me and keep us on the path towards a happy and loving life together.

I have my love ♡

I have someone who fall in love with me so much. He seems to worry about me so much, too. I am strong and not a child who need parent's help though. He cherish me so I feel like becoming a princess living in a castle.

Wheneve I have bad time, He gave me courage to solve the problem well and Huge LOVE to live this world. I really hope this is our last scandal of our life. I mean this is my first and last love of my life. You are so important to me so I wanted to hid you because someone stole you in front of me.

My hope, who can light my way, is you. Your voice leads me your way and your hands wave me to come. Your smile attracts me to fall in love with you more and more, so I can't swim out of your love. I am almost drowned in your love.

I am loving you so much. We are peas in a pod. We can only see each other. We only do our best just for ourselves not other people.

I have my better half who likes listening to music, talking to me, riding a bike, bikini so much, sexy girl, looking for better job, galbi, ddokboki, curry rice, traveling, exotic things, foreign languages, good books and movies, history and ME.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Life's Fragility

Life is so hard at times. I can't believe everything that has happened in the last two weeks.

I got off a plane from Korea. I was scared, nervous, and very depressed cause I didn't want to leave my love of my life in Korea alone in a horrible job. I felt awful for going away just because I wanted to try to find something better. I will go back someday I hope and know.


I had to find an apartment in 3 days due to the start of school. I wanted to find a good place to live. The place would be cheap so I could save some money for my future wife. I didn't want to just go back to life like nothing happened. I ran away and for that I will be partly coward.

I have finished two weeks of classes. I am excited for 104 weeks even less than that!

i am excited for 12/25.


Today I had an emotional roller coaster experience with an old friends ex girlfriend. A friend of mine who I lived with is no longer here. He passed away and I never got to say goodbye or how much I liked him.


My family is busy with their work and their lives and here I am writing a story wishing for the next adventure to begin.

I am hoping that I can make things work out well. I want to live in a nice place with my girlfriend and enjoy what life has to offer. I think Japan would be nice. I also think that it would be nice to live in Seattle or somewhere in California. I just want to make LIFE more Fun and not what it seems to be---difficult and hard to handle.


Here I am I am strong minded, strong willed, and will do whatever I can to make things work. I regret drinking tonight because it upset my darling. I shouldn't use alcohol as an escape. I can't believe whats happening here but its not an excuse. Maybe I am fine in a sea of chaotic wonder but I can prevail.


I wonder what my teammate was going through. He left out a big massive part of his life ignoring his ex roommate, ex teammate and a close comradeship that is not found in most cases.


So now I am left thinking how much I want my babe to be happy and the most happiest woman on earth and will do whatever it takes to make that possible.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Love is...

Before I met you, I've rarely thought about love. It's not for me before. Exercise, swimming, inline skating, studying English, and working were filled with my life. They were good friends before Love finds me and They are still some of them are good friends. Love makes me shiny, beautiful, elegant and lovely.

I've enjoyed my single life and sometimes it gave me freedom from all duties and binding. If I wanted to go to Kyoungju, I could go there any holidays. But the freedom for a single person can't give any comfortable and stable feeling to him or her. Sometimes they may feel lonely and solitude.

When it comes to me at first, I denied and resisted it. It made me bothered and not to enjoy my single life. I thought it destroyed and messed up my life completely. At that time I didn't see the bright side of LOVE. Nowadays It's good for me and Being together is more comfortable and reliable though.

Despite all these disadvantage, I decided to accept it because of YOU. Being with you is like staying in heaven. It showed me ideal future and dream about better life. Talking, eating, watching movies, going to bookstore and nice restaurants, finding interesting things such as blowing Ocarina, walking on the street without purpose, traveling and working together with you became a part of my life.

I noticed the fact that how much you've loved me and cared of me all the time. Even I didn't thought about live seriously. Love has potential and strong power to change people's mind. It gave me courage, hope, and expectation about everything that I have thought impossible.

It's your power and your love leads me try more and more. I know it's natural for us and help each other and cheer for us all the time. Let's love more like there's no tomorrow.

My little baby... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.