I ate so much food today. Tonight I had my own dinner alone. I had a half of a pizza and at least half a plate of nachos. The nachos were heaped with many toppings. I ate too much because now I am so full.
My birthday was kind of boring and nothing too special to be honest. The best thing was talking to you. I went to my one class, went to Food For Thought and rested. I did some homework trying to get ahead for the next month and I also cleaned up a little. I am so tired and bored too.
Sometimes I don't think anyone likes me here since no one has bothered to really want to hang out and most of my friends are new friends. Guess I made a good impression on people everywhere I go. I thought I had good friends here.
So now I am writing a story and trying to figure out everything I need to right now. I hope to find a job soon. I am going to fill out an application for a restaurant job and then later try to look for more.
I have decided that all I want to do is move to Korea and make a career move. I wish I had more money right now I desperately want to make a better impression but feel so bad that I can't make progress.
Anyways another day over and tomorrow there is exactly 100 days until Christmas. If you don't count tomorrow. I will be there though in less than 90 if things go well. Please help me more...
Monday, September 15, 2008
Refreshment with holidays
I was very busy last week because of overwork. I really wanted to get holidays a lot. I didn't want to work more, but there's no teacher except me and Viki. I was too tired to teach kids and my throat hurt cause I shouted and yelled at kids a lot. I needed to refresh my mind and body.
During three holidays, I spent two days to do cooking, cleaning, visiting relatives. There was no time to study and take a rest. If I tried to find or have time to do something, I could do whatever. But My body didn't move well like I intended. Besides, a slight headache bothered me continuously. My brother was suffering from migraine, too. We went to several drugstores, but they all were closed.
Sleeping and just relaxing at home blew away my headache a little bit. Playing with my nephews, too. If I don't think about sickness at all, it doesn't affect me anymore. So I am trying not to think about this.
After I had late breakfast by myself, my sister came home. My second nephew grow more than before and the older one could speak fluently like Adult. His height is getting higher and speaking ability is getting better. Now he can express his own feeling to me and his parents and sometimes he asks for something he wants to get.
My another nephew, girl in pink pants and shirt, is getting bigger. She looks like a boy baby, not girl baby. Her weight is almost 10 kg. She dislikes and are afraid of strangers a lot. So my mom or father holds her, she cries very loudly and sadly. If I holds her, she just smiles looking at me. Cause I am as same as my sister. haha
Today I played badminton with my sister and her husband. It was hard for me, cause I didn't exercise much after you left here. I thought I need to exercise including climbing, swimming, inline skating and badminton. Whatever I can improve my physical ability a lot. I just played for 10 minutes and perspired a lot. I didn't know my physical condition is bad and weak.
Exercising, perspiring and sitting on the ground feeling breezing were so good. It was refreshment. Until now, If I had holidays, I have stayed home all day long without any exercise or refreshment. It changed my feeling good and happy.
Holidays give me lots of energy which I can work well this week. My real powerful energy source is YOU though. Every week I will hope I can get more holidays from work and free from kids, small academy work. And I will think of YOU more and more.
During three holidays, I spent two days to do cooking, cleaning, visiting relatives. There was no time to study and take a rest. If I tried to find or have time to do something, I could do whatever. But My body didn't move well like I intended. Besides, a slight headache bothered me continuously. My brother was suffering from migraine, too. We went to several drugstores, but they all were closed.
Sleeping and just relaxing at home blew away my headache a little bit. Playing with my nephews, too. If I don't think about sickness at all, it doesn't affect me anymore. So I am trying not to think about this.
After I had late breakfast by myself, my sister came home. My second nephew grow more than before and the older one could speak fluently like Adult. His height is getting higher and speaking ability is getting better. Now he can express his own feeling to me and his parents and sometimes he asks for something he wants to get.
My another nephew, girl in pink pants and shirt, is getting bigger. She looks like a boy baby, not girl baby. Her weight is almost 10 kg. She dislikes and are afraid of strangers a lot. So my mom or father holds her, she cries very loudly and sadly. If I holds her, she just smiles looking at me. Cause I am as same as my sister. haha
Today I played badminton with my sister and her husband. It was hard for me, cause I didn't exercise much after you left here. I thought I need to exercise including climbing, swimming, inline skating and badminton. Whatever I can improve my physical ability a lot. I just played for 10 minutes and perspired a lot. I didn't know my physical condition is bad and weak.
Exercising, perspiring and sitting on the ground feeling breezing were so good. It was refreshment. Until now, If I had holidays, I have stayed home all day long without any exercise or refreshment. It changed my feeling good and happy.
Holidays give me lots of energy which I can work well this week. My real powerful energy source is YOU though. Every week I will hope I can get more holidays from work and free from kids, small academy work. And I will think of YOU more and more.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Eve of 24
Today marks my third Sunday in Missoula. I have completed 3 weeks of school and so far think I am doing well in my classes. I am trying to get situated and just get ahead of all my classes. Today I think I may have been successful to get ahead in my school work.
I have completed 2 homework assignments in one class, gave my only presentation in another and have done all that has been required of me so far in my third and final class.
I now need to find a job soon I hope. Tomorrow I will invest my time into this endeavor.
Its almost another week back in school. I am certain that my work I did will increase this week. I have to buy some more things for around the house and my room which I still haven't moved into. I am waiting until my roommate gets here to set up shop so to speak.
I am saving a lot of money here soon. I bought a lot of food today so I can cook and not have to buy food for a long time. I hope that my Food For Thought budget holds out too.
I am preparing for a new move in my life. I am endeavoring for greater things. I want to truly move out to Seattle and work but for right now I am dead set on getting more money doing whatever it takes to reach a new peak.
Today I had to much time on my hands but unfortunately didn't go for a hike. I collected some cans around my neighborhood and watched a little computer tv, read my book, bought a journal to write a book, finished all of my homework, paid off all my debts which was only 1 but still something I didn't want, and now I am in idleness waiting for the storm tomorrow.
I dream of lapping water next to the shores and not having a care in the world about anything. Life is too short to be miserable, its not something I want for my two halves. Thats why I am committed to doing what I have to do in order to get a good job, and make a wonderful break in our future. I want to go to Busan again^^
Life is hard and no matter what there are certain things that will not change. I want to make everyone's situation better. There are no bounds in Love.
Tomorrow I will set my sights higher than ever before. I will go to many departments and also call on some numbers.
May this week of work bring good fortunes and may answers come more easily. Lets not give up, lose hope, or let anyone drag us down. Life throws us obstacles and we are both strong people we can do this easily. We just have to have belief and try.
The saying is simple
Love conquers all.
I dream of tomorrow....
I have completed 2 homework assignments in one class, gave my only presentation in another and have done all that has been required of me so far in my third and final class.
I now need to find a job soon I hope. Tomorrow I will invest my time into this endeavor.
Its almost another week back in school. I am certain that my work I did will increase this week. I have to buy some more things for around the house and my room which I still haven't moved into. I am waiting until my roommate gets here to set up shop so to speak.
I am saving a lot of money here soon. I bought a lot of food today so I can cook and not have to buy food for a long time. I hope that my Food For Thought budget holds out too.
I am preparing for a new move in my life. I am endeavoring for greater things. I want to truly move out to Seattle and work but for right now I am dead set on getting more money doing whatever it takes to reach a new peak.
Today I had to much time on my hands but unfortunately didn't go for a hike. I collected some cans around my neighborhood and watched a little computer tv, read my book, bought a journal to write a book, finished all of my homework, paid off all my debts which was only 1 but still something I didn't want, and now I am in idleness waiting for the storm tomorrow.
I dream of lapping water next to the shores and not having a care in the world about anything. Life is too short to be miserable, its not something I want for my two halves. Thats why I am committed to doing what I have to do in order to get a good job, and make a wonderful break in our future. I want to go to Busan again^^
Life is hard and no matter what there are certain things that will not change. I want to make everyone's situation better. There are no bounds in Love.
Tomorrow I will set my sights higher than ever before. I will go to many departments and also call on some numbers.
May this week of work bring good fortunes and may answers come more easily. Lets not give up, lose hope, or let anyone drag us down. Life throws us obstacles and we are both strong people we can do this easily. We just have to have belief and try.
The saying is simple
Love conquers all.
I dream of tomorrow....
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Chasing a Yellow Jersey
The term yellow jersey in its hay day referred to Lance Armstrong. Its a term used for bikers. I wear a yellow shirt each day especially for the chill in the morning. I ride my bike to campus and back usually twice a day.
The term is meant for the biker who is in the lead when doing the Tour de France. I am chasing my own dreams now.
Each day I am driving with a purpose in my heart. I am in Missoula now and sometimes I don't wish this but for now this is the end of the road for me. I am hoping to find some miracles brewing in the old campus pursuits but so far to no avail. I ride on latching myself onto dreams that I can open up the door with my golden set of keys.
I ride with a strong devotion that never will be detoured, nor broken. I am intent on just making my baby girl's future. There is nothing else I desire nor care for at the moment.
Riding a bike saves money, Its cost effective and its good for my physique as well. I want to rack in more money so thats why I am now driven towards finding a job. I want to be able to make a decent offering and I hope I can park in my girls heart forever because destiny is knocking...
more later.
The term is meant for the biker who is in the lead when doing the Tour de France. I am chasing my own dreams now.
Each day I am driving with a purpose in my heart. I am in Missoula now and sometimes I don't wish this but for now this is the end of the road for me. I am hoping to find some miracles brewing in the old campus pursuits but so far to no avail. I ride on latching myself onto dreams that I can open up the door with my golden set of keys.
I ride with a strong devotion that never will be detoured, nor broken. I am intent on just making my baby girl's future. There is nothing else I desire nor care for at the moment.
Riding a bike saves money, Its cost effective and its good for my physique as well. I want to rack in more money so thats why I am now driven towards finding a job. I want to be able to make a decent offering and I hope I can park in my girls heart forever because destiny is knocking...
more later.
Chuseok - Korean Thanksgiving Day
There are two big holidays in Korea. One is Seolnal(New Year) and the other is Chuseok(Thanksgiving Day). We eat Ddeokguk(rice cake soup) on New Year. Especailly we have to eat it like our ages. For example, If I am 10, I have to eat ten bowls of rice cake soup. Haha. Nowadays it's just function and Only some follow this custom though. We make Songpeon which rice cake filled peanut or sugal inside. Mom and I made 500 pieces of this today.
We make several types of fried food. Because Chuseok is in September or October and the weather is still warm. It's one reason to make food go bad easily. If we fry something, we can store it longer than usual. So our ancestor started to fry food. That's why we make fried food a lot. Fried Baechu(You know Baechu of Kimchi), tofu, squid, shrimp, salted fish, meat ball and mush room.
We also make a sweet drink made with fermented rice. If someone visits my house, we treat them to have this drink and rice cake. Mom bought lots of fruits including watermelon, yellow melon, apple, pear, banana, grapes and sometimes strawberry.
Moreover, there are lots of leaves for Bibimbab. Boiled pork, beef, egg, chestnut, jujube, dried octopus and Alaska pollack, fried seaweed, and so on. It's big holiday right?
If I wasn't here, My mom would do this by herself. I can't imagine this though. As you know Korea, If woman marries someone, she has to do this several times in a year. Once a year is ok, but twice isn't good. I can't do this and I don't want to do this at all. It makes me tired a lot. After cooking, I had to take a shower. My clothes were wet because of perspiring.
I am really excited Tomorrow is Chuseok. I will visit my grandparents graves and relatives in my hometown. ^0^ I want to show this to you soon.
We make several types of fried food. Because Chuseok is in September or October and the weather is still warm. It's one reason to make food go bad easily. If we fry something, we can store it longer than usual. So our ancestor started to fry food. That's why we make fried food a lot. Fried Baechu(You know Baechu of Kimchi), tofu, squid, shrimp, salted fish, meat ball and mush room.
We also make a sweet drink made with fermented rice. If someone visits my house, we treat them to have this drink and rice cake. Mom bought lots of fruits including watermelon, yellow melon, apple, pear, banana, grapes and sometimes strawberry.
Moreover, there are lots of leaves for Bibimbab. Boiled pork, beef, egg, chestnut, jujube, dried octopus and Alaska pollack, fried seaweed, and so on. It's big holiday right?
If I wasn't here, My mom would do this by herself. I can't imagine this though. As you know Korea, If woman marries someone, she has to do this several times in a year. Once a year is ok, but twice isn't good. I can't do this and I don't want to do this at all. It makes me tired a lot. After cooking, I had to take a shower. My clothes were wet because of perspiring.
I am really excited Tomorrow is Chuseok. I will visit my grandparents graves and relatives in my hometown. ^0^ I want to show this to you soon.
Meeting old friend.
One year ago, you and I met Pearl at Yale Academy. I didn't think that we would be good friends with each other and meet often at that time. I was happy to meet her with you at Paradise buffet restaurant on Sunday. I really want to go back at that time.
After you left me, I have had so so day for 2 weeks. And I know you would be same as me. I met her at Starbucks at 10:30. She gained weight a little bit for 2 months. Her face was good and still cute. She was wearing white shirt and brown skirt. We drank a cup of coffee and talked a lot.
Our talking always made me remind our past. How much we enjoyed our life and free time with her, How long we ate lunch at restaurant, How many times we met each other and What kinds of talking we did before. We talked about You, my work, her work, Austrailia, Foreigners, and fluent English skills. Although we talk about this all the time, we can't follow native speakers' skill and it's hard to mimic their pronounce, too. I understood this, but since I have studied English for several years, I can't stop Studying English. Especially because of YOU!!!!!
After Holidays, we will meet again and study together. And also, we will climb a mountain soon. I really wish you were here beside me.
After you left me, I have had so so day for 2 weeks. And I know you would be same as me. I met her at Starbucks at 10:30. She gained weight a little bit for 2 months. Her face was good and still cute. She was wearing white shirt and brown skirt. We drank a cup of coffee and talked a lot.
Our talking always made me remind our past. How much we enjoyed our life and free time with her, How long we ate lunch at restaurant, How many times we met each other and What kinds of talking we did before. We talked about You, my work, her work, Austrailia, Foreigners, and fluent English skills. Although we talk about this all the time, we can't follow native speakers' skill and it's hard to mimic their pronounce, too. I understood this, but since I have studied English for several years, I can't stop Studying English. Especially because of YOU!!!!!
After Holidays, we will meet again and study together. And also, we will climb a mountain soon. I really wish you were here beside me.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Crawling Wish
I had a long day. I had a day where I had two classes. One class was really boring and the other was hard to follow. I wanted to just go home and relax.
I am praying to just return back to where I was the most happy.
This post is filled with a lot of honesty.
I worry a lot and I am too serious about a lot of things. I am endeavoring to make my new home the best I could possible in order to really make something start off. I wish I could find a job here soon but for now I am thinking I am just going to off to put my nose to the grindstone and study hard.
I will never change why I am motivated the way I am. I haven't liked the state of affairs things seem to be in. I didn't study Reverse Culture shock but the irony is that people don't have a way to deal with ex-patriots when they come back to their country.
I am changed, my family and friends have changed as well and its a scary thing. I am scared now these days because I gave up the thing I held the most dear in order to just visit with my family and friends for awhile. I wanted to go back to school to try to get ahead a little and make a brighter future.
I never meant to destroy anything or make people feel bad. That's why I will step up my efforts to insure a better future soon.
I am trying hard to save a lot of money and thats why I am living as cheaply as possible. I will be busy with last minute projects this week and after this week I will have a little more free time!
So thats my first 3 weeks back in America. Today marks my 21st day. I am still stumbling down the road and trying like mad to look for my way back home and a place I will never leave again... I am so sorry.
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