The warm cool air hugs me and I can feel the coming of Fall. I like this feeling because for me it means busy preparation time for the coming of Winter. Fall will not last long.
Today was a slow day. Its a Universal rest day. I don't think I did as much as I could have. I talked to some friends, got some homework started and basically rested up for a busy week.
I told a friend about my friends passing. I hate having to bear bad news but its better to tell them than for them to find out some other way. I am apart of a cross country family that I love dearly but its changing. People are getting married, and moving on in some way or another. I want to get engaged soon. I hope I can.
So I made some house repairs but now I will have to wait until tomorrow since its too dark to see. Just like my friend Peter I seem to be waiting for time to pass by quicker. Right now Missoula is kind of a slow place.
I want to do well in my homework and hope I can regain my focus that I lost this week due to unforeseeable events.
I am hoping to put everything together this week. I want to become a writer and do some research that seems worthwhile. I don't know if I am doing what is needed to do well in the class but time will tell.
I am going to try to get more involved in the University soon. I have some ideas about improving the current situation but all I want right now is just a determined focus to get back to my happy spot.
I write this with no regard to anything. I want to pour my heart out I want to tell you just how much I love you because its indescribable its apart of me. I think I would die without it. I don't plan on going anywhere without it.
I want to fight all battles over all landscapes all in the name of Love. Today I had some personal problems with family, friends, school work but nothing can end me as I am fixated on a glowing future.
I look forward to tomorrow with a new fury inside and I will crush all demons that creep up. I promise to full fill all of our dreams in every way shape, etc. possible.
There is nothing to worry about or nothing that you should endure badly for my love is a shining light and will protect you from all of your fears. I am 100% certain of this.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Busan Trip
Slight breeze touches my face and hand. I woke up and prepared to go to Busan. I took a train at 9:32 and arrived at 11:50. My brother came there to pick me up. We went to Lotte Department store and had lunch such as Ambrosia. He chose lunch set including beef bulgogi, fish boiled in soy with spices, several types of leaves which can eat and drink for our health, and diverse side dishes. I had Woodong with fried shrimp, crown daisy, sweet potato and boiled fish paste. Both his and mine were so good.
After lunch, we went to Duty free shop and watch counter. There were lots of colorful styles and all of them were so expensive. My brother wanted to buy the Watch with stop watch function, auto movement function and so on. It was almost 3000$. It was too expensive and he didn't need to buy that one at all. Moreover, He isn't the son of the rich and can't spend money like water. Next, we went to sunglass section. He bought me wine colored coach sunglasses. Getting a present from others is making me so happy. ^^
And then we went to seventh floor and bought strong colored shirts, pants and shoes at Who.A.U and DOHC. My brother liked them a lot and he wore those clothes after buying them. I loved my deep pink hood shirt a lot. I can't wait to show this to you.
Before we went to Shoes store, it rained a lot. So we had heavy traffic on the road. I didn't bring my umbrella and my brother didn't have an umbrella, either. So our clothes were wet a little. Anyway, I bought a pretty black wallet for my mom with my coupon and came back to my brother's house. I had short time with his younger friends
at pub, but I didn't want to write about that here.
Sunday morning, my brother and I went to sea food restaurant and it was delicious, too. It was a little spicy though. And also, we went to coffee shop. I reminded you a lot and note a memo for a story.
On the train, I studied vocabulary a lot and slep a little. I really felt sorry to wake you up. I didn't intend it at all. You know how much I care about your health and rest, right? I will more care and won't wake you up while you are sleeping.
After lunch, we went to Duty free shop and watch counter. There were lots of colorful styles and all of them were so expensive. My brother wanted to buy the Watch with stop watch function, auto movement function and so on. It was almost 3000$. It was too expensive and he didn't need to buy that one at all. Moreover, He isn't the son of the rich and can't spend money like water. Next, we went to sunglass section. He bought me wine colored coach sunglasses. Getting a present from others is making me so happy. ^^
And then we went to seventh floor and bought strong colored shirts, pants and shoes at Who.A.U and DOHC. My brother liked them a lot and he wore those clothes after buying them. I loved my deep pink hood shirt a lot. I can't wait to show this to you.
Before we went to Shoes store, it rained a lot. So we had heavy traffic on the road. I didn't bring my umbrella and my brother didn't have an umbrella, either. So our clothes were wet a little. Anyway, I bought a pretty black wallet for my mom with my coupon and came back to my brother's house. I had short time with his younger friends
at pub, but I didn't want to write about that here.
Sunday morning, my brother and I went to sea food restaurant and it was delicious, too. It was a little spicy though. And also, we went to coffee shop. I reminded you a lot and note a memo for a story.
On the train, I studied vocabulary a lot and slep a little. I really felt sorry to wake you up. I didn't intend it at all. You know how much I care about your health and rest, right? I will more care and won't wake you up while you are sleeping.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Spreading my Wings and Flying Homeward
Today I had the day mostly to myself. I honestly don't understand my family sometimes. My dad came down but looked really tired. Conversations are still a little hard sometimes because I don't know how to really relate. My brother was in Missoula all day but didn't really bother to call me. We could have hiked the M together but I went alone. My mom was also in town but due to reasons beyond my understanding there wasn't a phone call at all.
So my dad left for home after breakfast. I really appreciated his being here. He took me out to a dinner and breakfast.
I spent the day by myself. I don't really get why Missoula is so cold right now. Missoula used to be so warm and friendly but since my return it doesn't seem the same.
I want to go back home and stay there. We all know what home I am talking about.
Today I went up the Mountain. It was my way of trying to forget but it didn't work. I was happy up there able to look down and not feel anything except for the pain in my back and the mountain air.
This weekend marks the first one that I am truly free with out restraints or anything that I had to do.
I am learning to live on my own again. I cooked for the first time in my apartment. I have bought groceries a few times. i am slowly getting used to living on my own.
So I am thinking so much these days. In light of everything that has happened this week I am wanting to get a new perspective about life and figure out what I really want to do. I am set on opening up new doors.
I don't want us to feel bad about anything anymore. I see Clear horizons in the future.
I am going to push myself beyond exertion and try to also get my mind body and spirit revamped for the undertakings that we need to do. I look forward to seeing you
Im coming home soon
Friday, September 5, 2008
Trying to push back the hands of time
Its amazing how slow things can be and then without warning you want Time to stop or go back. I miss all those Rainy days where I didn't do much of anything other than watching tv and just lazing around in all of life's splendor.
I have been really busy since getting back to Missoula. I am trying to work on some personal projects and just get readjusted. I would like to catch up with everyone.
Every time I drove through Polson I had a thought of stopping and dialing up my old roommate Fritz just to see how he was doing. Fritz wasn't a typical roommate. While he did things his own way much like most people I knew, he did confide in me and was dedicated to his God, family, friends and trying to find a way. There are many things I will remember about him. I will never get another chance to tell him anything about how I feel about him though.
I went to say my goodbyes yesterday. I had never been to a funeral especially one that wasn't meant to be. He was a big part of my life.
I was his first roommate. We shared many college laughs, stories, and we also ran together and against each though he always got the better end of me.
He kept me on the straight and narrow. I didn't drink with him. I never cussed, I was a better man because of him. I was healthier. I was happier and I wish I had known so much more than I had known before.
One phone call is all that it would have taken. I was his closest connection in college. I am wishing I had done something about it more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
I went to the funeral with his ex girlfriend and some old track guys. I cried like a baby. I don't ever want to go to another funeral.
Now I am just trying to think and be better cause I want to be better for the love of my life. We got something going well and our love is like Fusion its all around...
May the Gods bless Fritz for me and keep us on the path towards a happy and loving life together.
I have been really busy since getting back to Missoula. I am trying to work on some personal projects and just get readjusted. I would like to catch up with everyone.
Every time I drove through Polson I had a thought of stopping and dialing up my old roommate Fritz just to see how he was doing. Fritz wasn't a typical roommate. While he did things his own way much like most people I knew, he did confide in me and was dedicated to his God, family, friends and trying to find a way. There are many things I will remember about him. I will never get another chance to tell him anything about how I feel about him though.
I went to say my goodbyes yesterday. I had never been to a funeral especially one that wasn't meant to be. He was a big part of my life.
I was his first roommate. We shared many college laughs, stories, and we also ran together and against each though he always got the better end of me.
He kept me on the straight and narrow. I didn't drink with him. I never cussed, I was a better man because of him. I was healthier. I was happier and I wish I had known so much more than I had known before.
One phone call is all that it would have taken. I was his closest connection in college. I am wishing I had done something about it more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
I went to the funeral with his ex girlfriend and some old track guys. I cried like a baby. I don't ever want to go to another funeral.
Now I am just trying to think and be better cause I want to be better for the love of my life. We got something going well and our love is like Fusion its all around...
May the Gods bless Fritz for me and keep us on the path towards a happy and loving life together.
I have my love ♡
I have someone who fall in love with me so much. He seems to worry about me so much, too. I am strong and not a child who need parent's help though. He cherish me so I feel like becoming a princess living in a castle.
Wheneve I have bad time, He gave me courage to solve the problem well and Huge LOVE to live this world. I really hope this is our last scandal of our life. I mean this is my first and last love of my life. You are so important to me so I wanted to hid you because someone stole you in front of me.
My hope, who can light my way, is you. Your voice leads me your way and your hands wave me to come. Your smile attracts me to fall in love with you more and more, so I can't swim out of your love. I am almost drowned in your love.
I am loving you so much. We are peas in a pod. We can only see each other. We only do our best just for ourselves not other people.
I have my better half who likes listening to music, talking to me, riding a bike, bikini so much, sexy girl, looking for better job, galbi, ddokboki, curry rice, traveling, exotic things, foreign languages, good books and movies, history and ME.
Wheneve I have bad time, He gave me courage to solve the problem well and Huge LOVE to live this world. I really hope this is our last scandal of our life. I mean this is my first and last love of my life. You are so important to me so I wanted to hid you because someone stole you in front of me.
My hope, who can light my way, is you. Your voice leads me your way and your hands wave me to come. Your smile attracts me to fall in love with you more and more, so I can't swim out of your love. I am almost drowned in your love.
I am loving you so much. We are peas in a pod. We can only see each other. We only do our best just for ourselves not other people.
I have my better half who likes listening to music, talking to me, riding a bike, bikini so much, sexy girl, looking for better job, galbi, ddokboki, curry rice, traveling, exotic things, foreign languages, good books and movies, history and ME.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Life's Fragility
Life is so hard at times. I can't believe everything that has happened in the last two weeks.
I got off a plane from Korea. I was scared, nervous, and very depressed cause I didn't want to leave my love of my life in Korea alone in a horrible job. I felt awful for going away just because I wanted to try to find something better. I will go back someday I hope and know.
I had to find an apartment in 3 days due to the start of school. I wanted to find a good place to live. The place would be cheap so I could save some money for my future wife. I didn't want to just go back to life like nothing happened. I ran away and for that I will be partly coward.
I have finished two weeks of classes. I am excited for 104 weeks even less than that!
i am excited for 12/25.
Today I had an emotional roller coaster experience with an old friends ex girlfriend. A friend of mine who I lived with is no longer here. He passed away and I never got to say goodbye or how much I liked him.
My family is busy with their work and their lives and here I am writing a story wishing for the next adventure to begin.
I am hoping that I can make things work out well. I want to live in a nice place with my girlfriend and enjoy what life has to offer. I think Japan would be nice. I also think that it would be nice to live in Seattle or somewhere in California. I just want to make LIFE more Fun and not what it seems to be---difficult and hard to handle.
Here I am I am strong minded, strong willed, and will do whatever I can to make things work. I regret drinking tonight because it upset my darling. I shouldn't use alcohol as an escape. I can't believe whats happening here but its not an excuse. Maybe I am fine in a sea of chaotic wonder but I can prevail.
I wonder what my teammate was going through. He left out a big massive part of his life ignoring his ex roommate, ex teammate and a close comradeship that is not found in most cases.
So now I am left thinking how much I want my babe to be happy and the most happiest woman on earth and will do whatever it takes to make that possible.
I got off a plane from Korea. I was scared, nervous, and very depressed cause I didn't want to leave my love of my life in Korea alone in a horrible job. I felt awful for going away just because I wanted to try to find something better. I will go back someday I hope and know.
I had to find an apartment in 3 days due to the start of school. I wanted to find a good place to live. The place would be cheap so I could save some money for my future wife. I didn't want to just go back to life like nothing happened. I ran away and for that I will be partly coward.
I have finished two weeks of classes. I am excited for 104 weeks even less than that!
i am excited for 12/25.
Today I had an emotional roller coaster experience with an old friends ex girlfriend. A friend of mine who I lived with is no longer here. He passed away and I never got to say goodbye or how much I liked him.
My family is busy with their work and their lives and here I am writing a story wishing for the next adventure to begin.
I am hoping that I can make things work out well. I want to live in a nice place with my girlfriend and enjoy what life has to offer. I think Japan would be nice. I also think that it would be nice to live in Seattle or somewhere in California. I just want to make LIFE more Fun and not what it seems to be---difficult and hard to handle.
Here I am I am strong minded, strong willed, and will do whatever I can to make things work. I regret drinking tonight because it upset my darling. I shouldn't use alcohol as an escape. I can't believe whats happening here but its not an excuse. Maybe I am fine in a sea of chaotic wonder but I can prevail.
I wonder what my teammate was going through. He left out a big massive part of his life ignoring his ex roommate, ex teammate and a close comradeship that is not found in most cases.
So now I am left thinking how much I want my babe to be happy and the most happiest woman on earth and will do whatever it takes to make that possible.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Love is...
Before I met you, I've rarely thought about love. It's not for me before. Exercise, swimming, inline skating, studying English, and working were filled with my life. They were good friends before Love finds me and They are still some of them are good friends. Love makes me shiny, beautiful, elegant and lovely.
I've enjoyed my single life and sometimes it gave me freedom from all duties and binding. If I wanted to go to Kyoungju, I could go there any holidays. But the freedom for a single person can't give any comfortable and stable feeling to him or her. Sometimes they may feel lonely and solitude.
When it comes to me at first, I denied and resisted it. It made me bothered and not to enjoy my single life. I thought it destroyed and messed up my life completely. At that time I didn't see the bright side of LOVE. Nowadays It's good for me and Being together is more comfortable and reliable though.
Despite all these disadvantage, I decided to accept it because of YOU. Being with you is like staying in heaven. It showed me ideal future and dream about better life. Talking, eating, watching movies, going to bookstore and nice restaurants, finding interesting things such as blowing Ocarina, walking on the street without purpose, traveling and working together with you became a part of my life.
I noticed the fact that how much you've loved me and cared of me all the time. Even I didn't thought about live seriously. Love has potential and strong power to change people's mind. It gave me courage, hope, and expectation about everything that I have thought impossible.
It's your power and your love leads me try more and more. I know it's natural for us and help each other and cheer for us all the time. Let's love more like there's no tomorrow.
My little baby... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
I've enjoyed my single life and sometimes it gave me freedom from all duties and binding. If I wanted to go to Kyoungju, I could go there any holidays. But the freedom for a single person can't give any comfortable and stable feeling to him or her. Sometimes they may feel lonely and solitude.
When it comes to me at first, I denied and resisted it. It made me bothered and not to enjoy my single life. I thought it destroyed and messed up my life completely. At that time I didn't see the bright side of LOVE. Nowadays It's good for me and Being together is more comfortable and reliable though.
Despite all these disadvantage, I decided to accept it because of YOU. Being with you is like staying in heaven. It showed me ideal future and dream about better life. Talking, eating, watching movies, going to bookstore and nice restaurants, finding interesting things such as blowing Ocarina, walking on the street without purpose, traveling and working together with you became a part of my life.
I noticed the fact that how much you've loved me and cared of me all the time. Even I didn't thought about live seriously. Love has potential and strong power to change people's mind. It gave me courage, hope, and expectation about everything that I have thought impossible.
It's your power and your love leads me try more and more. I know it's natural for us and help each other and cheer for us all the time. Let's love more like there's no tomorrow.
My little baby... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
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